Another brisk cool morning in Oakland, I stood next to my student, bending my knees to look into their eyes. My knees had not grown weary of the numerous times I have lowered my body to converse with a student eye to eye. This morning, at Lazear Charter Academy, began with a series of exploratory questions of my student's physical & emotional well-being. However, today this student, amid the brisk air and cold metal rail that spied on this interaction, would say something different. The student said something I did not expect. The student told me…
The importance of the social-emotional aspect of children, which the book Unconditional Education highlights, has recently gained attention in the world of education. This shift of thought transpired in the mid-20th century. The previous sentiment can be encapsulated by the phrase, “children should be seen and not heard,” which refers to a cultural belief that children’s perspectives were inferior in comparison to their older counterparts. Thanks to people in medicine, popular media, and education, we have made strides in recognizing that children should not only be seen and heard, but also understood. UE emphasizes that the social-emotional strand of children should be acknowledged and taken seriously. This post is an introduction to resources that can be implemented in classrooms and workplaces that support the social-emotional aspect of school communities.
In his book, Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive, Professor Mark Brackett, Director of Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, discusses the importance of creating holistic education that does not just focus on academics, but addresses the emotional needs of children. In 2019, Greater Good Magazine interviewed Dr. Brackett, which mentioned how he “led the development of
an emotional skills building program called R.U.L.E.R.”
Children’s Television Host and Advocate Fred Rogers once said, “feelings are mentionable and manageable.” Allowing others to talk about feelings with trusted people creates a positive difference in the school environment and culture.
Below is an excerpt from the book Permission to Feel by Professor Brackett that briefly outlines the 5 emotional skills as part of the R.U.L.E.R program:
… with a sudden pause, looking at me with curiosity. The student inquired,
an emotional skills building program called R.U.L.E.R.”
Children’s Television Host and Advocate Fred Rogers once said, “feelings are mentionable and manageable.” Allowing others to talk about feelings with trusted people creates a positive difference in the school environment and culture.
Below is an excerpt from the book Permission to Feel by Professor Brackett that briefly outlines the 5 emotional skills as part of the R.U.L.E.R program:
- Recognize – “Recognize our own emotions and those of others, not just in the things we think, feel, and say but facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and other non-verbal signals.”
- Understand – “Understand those feelings and determine feelings and determine their source - what experience actually caused them - and then see how they’ve influenced our behaviors.
- Label – “Label emotions with a nuanced vocabulary.”
- Express – “Express our feelings in accordance with cultural norms and social contexts in a way that tries to inform and invites empathy from the listener.”
- Regulate – “Regulate emotions, rather than let them regulate us, by finding practical strategies for dealing with what we and others feel.”
… with a sudden pause, looking at me with curiosity. The student inquired,
“How [is]... your day?”
What may seem as a simple question is actually a great opportunity for deeper intrinsic connection between two people. The way I respond can make all the difference in role modeling the importance of earnestness when it comes to our feelings. We know children “don’t do what we say but do as we do.” A question like, “how is your day?” from others, usually constitutes a “fine,” “good,” or “alright” answer, but what does that tell our children about our value to feelings?
How would you respond?
Our age-appropriate responses to one another can make all the difference in creating generational social-emotional awareness and demonstrating to our children that emotions are signs of our humanity, rather than our weakness.
Blog Post Written By: Ulisses Vasquez, Student Support Assistant
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